Friends, today I made a startling discovery. I hope you’re ready for this, because I certainly wasn’t.

So I wanted to try something new today, but I had a few prerequisites. It had to be cheap, a pickup rather than something to call ahead for, and something free of greasy meats. This all naturally limited my options quite a bit, and among the lunch options being tossed around, Subway seemed to be the way to go.

I was tempted to follow Nick’s lead and just get a veggie sub, but then I remembered that Subway also occasionally stocks a particularly suspect-looking vegetable-based patty. The patty essentially looks like what I imagine some prison Nutraloaf might look like- a flat, speckled slab, mostly in shades of brown. Here, tell me this doesn’t look like an adventure.

Almost as tricky as ordering something that looks like that is figuring out how to dress the roll around it without knowing how it might taste. I went pretty generic, shooting for safely universal ingredients like lettuce, tomato, onion, black olives and mustard. I figured if nothing else, I could strip out the patty and at least have some bread that tasted like a real sandwich.

But things took a real twist when the veggie slab actually turned out to be totally delicious. Not just passably good, but honest-to-goodness delightful. I made sure to save some for dinner, just to stretch out the experience. Maybe it was just the thrill of victory, but I really feel like this might be one of the best things you can order over there. I’m not trying to over-hype it (because come on, this is Subway we’re talking about here), but that shit’s the shit.