The Past's Future: Internet Enslavement
I recently caught a clip from 1994 where Tom Brokaw reports from a Las Vegas convention on technology. “It’s called The Internet,” Brokaw proclaims as the story goes on to cover the hilariously rudimentary internet of the mid-90s. Some of the predictions include a dude from Sun Microsystems that says every company large and small will have a website by the year 2000 and Bill Gates himself says we have plenty of time before computers and flat displays shrink down to the size of books.
Watching that clip reminded me of an awesome episode of the revisited Outer Limits that aired just three years later in 1997. It was actually one of my favorite episodes from that series only because it was so ridiculous. Here’s why:
(Original Airdate: February 7, 1997)
In a world where neural implants allow everyone instant access to information, Ryan Unger (Adventures in Babysitting) is a throwback, a moron. Because of a brain injury he suffered as a child, Ryan cannot tap into the Stream — an electronic collection of all human knowledge. Instead he struggles to keep up by reading books, a primitive and forgotten art.
But then a virus in the Stream starts killing people by overloading their brains with data. Only Ryan has the skills and independence to stop it. Can a primitive human, relying only on books and his own brain, save a world of machine-made geniuses from self-destruction? Or will the Stream wash away all of humanity?
The data stream, now simply known as The Stream, was developed 50 years ago so that the Earth’s population could have immediate access to the newly built World Information Network. Data relays, known as Eddies, transmit information directly to an individuals cranial implant??
OMG. LOOK AT THE STREAM. IT IS AMAZING.
Stanley: “You know there was a time when reading was a sign of intelligence.”
Mark: “Oh yeah? Thank god those days are gone.”
Mark: “Oh yeah? Thank god those days are gone.”
This is Ryan Unger. The first half of the episode basically points out how inadequate he is at everything because he cannot access the Stream.
Example: “Oh. You need to hear the menu then.”
Another example:
Cheryl: “Stanley says you can even do arithmetic in your head.”
Ryan: “I wouldn’t be too impressed. I don’t have a choice.”
Cheryl: “Well, I wouldn’t mind learning myself one day.”
Ryan: “That’s like telling a cripple you’d like to learn how to use his crutches.”
Cheryl: “Stanley says you can even do arithmetic in your head.”
Ryan: “I wouldn’t be too impressed. I don’t have a choice.”
Cheryl: “Well, I wouldn’t mind learning myself one day.”
Ryan: “That’s like telling a cripple you’d like to learn how to use his crutches.”
AHHHHHHHHHH IT’S THE STREAM AGAIN
Unfortunately, the Stream isn’t all sunshine and lollipops. It starts enslaving people to acquire useless data to the point where they go crazy…
And die.
Fear not though, Ryan, who can’t access the Stream stays crazy-free and tries to get to the bottom of the problem using none other than… Yup. Trusty old books.
As the Stream affects more and more people, the doctors and scientists determine that it’s a virus. Ryan attempts tell them they need to shut it down at the source, AKA shut down the Stream. This freaks people out because they can’t shut down their one source of knowledge.
Ryan then freaks out because no one will listen to him so he takes Cheryl to some abandoned building in the old part of town. (Hint: it’s a library)Here Ryan finds the one book that has the answer to the problem.
Then, the Stream people start shooting lasers at Ryan and Cheryl. Pew pew pew.
Ryan takes Cheryl and the book and hides in a nearby bank’s safe. Ryan, being the clever that he is, tries to get Cheryl to read said book.
See, the special thing about this book is that it contains the code to shut down the Stream. Since Cheryl is still hooked on Stream, the very act of her reading it will supposedly shut down the Stream.
OMG IT WORKS. NO MORE STREAM.
And everyone lives happily ever after. Especially Ryan who now gets to teach everyone the alphabet and how to spell cat.
The End.
To sum it up, we should be concerned for the following things:
- Soon we won’t be able to write, do math without calculators, and even read.
- The gap between those who have access to instant information and those who don’t will get to be so large it becomes a physical disability to those without access.
- We’ll eventually become so dependent on our instant information technology that we won’t be able to give it up… even if it kills us.
- The internet will eventually be beamed straight into our brains, but it will still have sweet trippy visuals we can watch as it does.
- The gap between those who have access to instant information and those who don’t will get to be so large it becomes a physical disability to those without access.
- We’ll eventually become so dependent on our instant information technology that we won’t be able to give it up… even if it kills us.
- The internet will eventually be beamed straight into our brains, but it will still have sweet trippy visuals we can watch as it does.
While the last two are still pretty absurd at this point in time, but the first two are happening as we speak.
This post is dedicated to Cursive Handwriting and Long Division.
